Regret in Bullet-Point Formatting


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shorebird cry

Your delight at a new-found surprise went unacknowledged, and so another nail in the coffin of crushed dreams was driven home. But what a delight, filled with choices! Ramble wooded trail or old logging road? Turn shoreline left or shoreline right? Bats arrow inland, on the prowl for evening bugs. Mid-day, seal pups sun. Old owl perches under the fir canopy, waiting for the rush of small feet. Find historical tributes to the displacers and displaced. This is where past, present and future community gathers; and the place you could not bring her.

sunbeam to shadow
tardy feet wander this trail
a shorebird cries

The day 12 NaPoWriMo challenge was to write a haibun about the natural landscape of where we live. Woodard Bay Conservation Area is a gem.
NaPoWriMo2018

I Remember

 
I remember
when you finally emerged from between my thighs
And your eyes met mine
A long-awaited
Anxiously anticipated
Spark of new life.
I remember
Oh, how I remember
The whirring hum and clicks and beeps of
Life sustaining machines
That tied you firmly to this earth.
I remember
How your eyes struggled
Like
Trapped butterflies
Wings beating
Flutter on, little one.
I remember
Hours spent gazing
On the softness of your face;
Time stretching
Stilling
Slowing
Only your chest giving evidence
Of life
In repose –
Your tiny lips pursed,
Suckling, perhaps
On a dreamed-of breast?
I remember
As though it were just yesterday
Salted waves threaten to spill
Over cracking dams
To flood parched plains
And bring new life again.
I remember
Through all the years
Each little milestone of
First words
First steps
First Christmas presents
First tumbles from bicycles, from trees
First nights away
First baseball games
First communions
And overnight hikes
First broken hearts
And marching in parades
So many memories
So many days . . .
I remember
When we packed your bags
So close to an adult
So young yet
So filled with need and hope
And me
Regrets.
I remember.

Drum Roll . . . . And Morality Is . . . ?

I came across these ideas in Mary Pipher’s book, The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families and they really stuck with me:

” . . . morality is not the property of any one political party, race, religious group or segment of the population . . . morality refers not only to sex and violence but also the use of power, time and money. Broadly defined, morality is about making decent and wise choices about how to be in the universe. It implies purposeful action for the common good.”

As I welcome my teen into the next stages of growing up, these are ideas I want him to think about as he makes choices about the world he moves and lives in. I don’t want him captured by any idealogue. I want him to think for himself and take the space and time to move along the paths that do contribute to the common good.

I wonder though about the world in general, and how this does or does not play out. What I hear on radio, see in the limited TV I watch, read in magazines or on-line, tells me that people — with rare exceptions — really don’t make choices based on any good other than their own personal good.

And I look back on choices I have made in 40 years of life and wonder how many times I may or may not have made choices that benefitted a greater good, not just met my needs or ego.

It’s a kind-of uncomfortable think to think about, y’know . . .