I Remember

 
I remember
when you finally emerged from between my thighs
And your eyes met mine
A long-awaited
Anxiously anticipated
Spark of new life.
I remember
Oh, how I remember
The whirring hum and clicks and beeps of
Life sustaining machines
That tied you firmly to this earth.
I remember
How your eyes struggled
Like
Trapped butterflies
Wings beating
Flutter on, little one.
I remember
Hours spent gazing
On the softness of your face;
Time stretching
Stilling
Slowing
Only your chest giving evidence
Of life
In repose –
Your tiny lips pursed,
Suckling, perhaps
On a dreamed-of breast?
I remember
As though it were just yesterday
Salted waves threaten to spill
Over cracking dams
To flood parched plains
And bring new life again.
I remember
Through all the years
Each little milestone of
First words
First steps
First Christmas presents
First tumbles from bicycles, from trees
First nights away
First baseball games
First communions
And overnight hikes
First broken hearts
And marching in parades
So many memories
So many days . . .
I remember
When we packed your bags
So close to an adult
So young yet
So filled with need and hope
And me
Regrets.
I remember.
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